Innerloverbook’s Blog

Archive for April 2009

Here is where we can discuss or comment on The Inner Lover, published by Shambhala and then reprinted by Aslan.  This has been my most popular book.  I get lots of messages about how much it helped them.  Strangely enough it still helps me.

Here is a blurb by a psychotherapist…

The other day I came across a quote of Gloria Steinem’s that read, “Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.”  It put me in mind of a book written by my close friend, Valerie Harms, The Inner Lover.  In her book Valerie opens us to the possibility of living relationship in such a way that it supports and feeds our individuality and creativity.  She challenges us to honor the feelings that urge us to seek another in such a way that they can be used to create a path to self-knowledge and to open doors to creativity.  I think Steinem’s thought might logically be carried further by Valerie’s work to read, “Many of us have become the men we wanted to marry…and now are ready to marry” (if we so choose!). 

The raw material of this book is taken from Valerie’s own life experiences, which she shares with honesty and humility.  I have known Valerie for almost 20 years, have witnessed her struggles through many of the experiences she writes of and have often been in awe of her unwavering commitment and courage in pursuing her quest for self-knowledge.  I have a deep respect for what I see as a spiritual discipline and devotion that has yielded an abundance of creative energy.  She returns it to the world in her writing, her teaching, in relationship with family and friends, and through her active involvement in wildlife conservation causes. 

As a psychotherapist, I often recommend this book to clients who are struggling with relationships.  Many of the women I work with have deep conflicts between their need to feel independent/autonomous and their need to be in a loving relationship, thinking that the two are incompatible.  The Inner Lover has helped many to expand personal understanding as well as helping them find a meaning in a way through this conflict.  The unique and personal way that Valerie presents this material makes it particularly accessible and helpful. 

This book is a wonderful testament to how Valerie lives her life – a life both examined and fully lived.  I hope that readers will be as enriched by the reading of this book as I have been and continue to be enriched by our friendship.



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